


With this empty glass, I will break the past

by ForYouAndYourDenial



Category: GOT7
Genre: Break Up, Cheating, Heartbreak, Hurt jinyoung, Idiots in Love, Internal Conflict, M/M, Misunderstandings, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slight Markson, engaged JB and Youngjae, famous Jinyoung, main couple: Jinyoung and Jackson, regretful Jackson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:02:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26930335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForYouAndYourDenial/pseuds/ForYouAndYourDenial
Summary: When Jinyoung decided to organize a celebration week for his newly engaged cousin and best friend, he never expected to meet the one man who had broken his heart all those years ago.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang
Comments: 13
Kudos: 38





	With this empty glass, I will break the past

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> I wanted to try to write something more complex this time, hopefully, I'll manage.  
> This first chapter is focusing quite a lot on Jackson, in the future, I think I'll focus mostly on Jinyoung.
> 
> For those who are following my other story, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about it :) I'll update it soon.
> 
> Please enjoy!

Jackson sat at the Edge of a bed that wasn't his own, nor was it Jinyoungs. It was Mark's. He couldn't quite remember how he had ended up there all he knew was that he and Jinyoung had once again had one of their fights and that he had ended up at Mark's doorstep. He had vented about their relationship over a couple of drinks, Mark had just been there, listened to him and offered him soothing words, just what he had needed. Unlike Jinyoung, Mark had never been one to hold back on his feelings. He might be the quieter one of them but that didn't make him less verbal when it came to expressing his feelings. They had had a good chat, both had left enough room for the other to utter his thoughts and beliefs. 

Jackson would be lying if he claimed that it wasn't the most reasonable conversation he had had for quite a long time. Mark understood him, he always had. While he didn't always agree with him, he still managed to see things from his point of view and never blamed him for it. 

The night had gone from one drink to another and the rest of the night was nothing but a blur in his memories.

... who was he trying to fool. They hadn't had nearly enough drinks to make them forget even a second of their nightly activities. Jackson remembered clearly how he had tilted Mark's chin up and kissed him because the moment felt right and it was, it really was. Mark hadn't hesitated for even a second before responding to the kiss, instead he had moaned and deepened it. The memory of Mark squirming under him as he entered him, his nails digging into his back as he tried to adjust to Jackson's size filling him up. 

He had known from the very start that it was wrong, every moan, every thrust, he had known that it was wrong. But for some reason he couldn't help but notice how easy it had felt with Mark, there were no complicated thoughts, no trust issues no misunderstandings, to put it simply, it had felt so right. Things were never easy with Jinyoung, no matter how much he tried the younger never let him in. He was Always reserved, never told him anything, and was just overall complex. They had been together for two years now. Since they were 15 and Before that, they had been best friends since they were three. Jackson had known from the start that Jinyoung wasn't one to easily let anyone in and had been fine with it.

Or so he thought. Things had gone smoothly in the beginning, they had both been in love and things had just been great. Jinyoung's secretive and withdrawn personality had been rather charming and cute back then, but after a couple of months, Jackson couldn't help but feel that they didn't get anywhere. That they had somehow got stuck on the road and couldn't really break loose. Their relationship didn't develop any further, in fact, he'd rather say that they were drifting further and further apart. The joy and excitement that used to be there whenever they were together were gone as if it had never existed. they were seventeen and had been together for only two years, yet they fought like they had spent a whole life long marriage together and therefore quickly grew tired of each other. 

But that wasn't the case. Maybe the reason was easier than that. No, it was easier than that, he had just decided to deny it as he didn't want to hurt him. But if he would be fully honest with himself, he knew that he had fallen out of love with the boy. He no longer romantically loved him and he felt terrible to admit it, cause he knew what an Amazing guy Jinyoung was, but he simply couldn't lie to himself anymore. After all, he had just slept with the one he had had a growing crush on.

He wasn't sure of when it had started but he had opened up his Eyes for Mark. He remembered that it had started with a couple of innocent glances, noting things about the other that he couldn't help but find interesting. He had known Mark for years and was therefore surprised when he realized that he started to see the other in a different light. He was a Mutual friend to both him and Jinyoung, they had all pretty much grown up together and while not many knew about their relationship, Mark was one of few who actually knew about it. It felt terrible to have fallen in love with someone who stood them both close for so long, he had never intended to hurt Jinyoung like this, but what could he possibly do, he couldn't steer his feelings.

Next to him, Mark stirred, reminding him of where he was and what he had done. For a moment he considered grabbing his clothes and flee from the dorm as fast as possible, but something in his gut told him to not do that. Instead, he laid down on his side, meeting Mark's obviously insecure gaze. They just laid there, none of them saying anything for a good ten minutes. Mark was the first one to break the silence.

"I don't regret it" he said, barely above a whisper.  
Jackson couldn't help but smile as he said "me neither", both of them feeling relief over the fact that none of them felt any remorse over the situation.

The smile was returned as Mark asked "really?" as if needing a confirmation, before believing the Words. And Jackson couldn't help but find it cute. Instead of answering with words, he leaned over, catching the other's lips with his own. The kiss was short but delicate and Mark felt satisfied by the non-verbal answer. Another kiss was initiated, this time by Mark. one kiss led to Another and from there, all thoughts of Jinyoung were easily forgotten as they Went for a second round.  
xxxxxxxxxxxx

The next time they woke up it was already noon. With his head resting on top of Jackson's ribcage, Mark said "You need to talk to Jinyoung".

Jackson could feel his heart sink at the mention of the younger. Just because he didn't love him anymore, didn't mean that he didn't care for him. He knew that he had hurt him and that he would probably be heartbroken, but there was just no way that he could keep the other in the dark. The least he could give him was the truth. "I know"

Mark shifted his position to get eye contact with him "He's probably gonna hate both of us after this" he stated. The words cut Jackson like a blade. Mark's assumptions were probably true, Jinyoung would hate them and with all right. After all, his boyfriend and best friend had just had sex, twice even. What was there to not hate?

The smarter choice would probably be to just break up and not tell him about cheating, but he couldn't do that. The least he could do was to tell him the truth, he deserved as much.  
"Not you" he responded "just me."

Mark pushed up on his elbow, suspecting what the other was hinting "if you're suggesting what I think you are, then forget it"

Jackson pushed himself up to a sitting position "it wasn't a suggestion" he said, resting his forehead in his palms "I'll tell him that I cheated, but I won't tell him that it was with you"

Mark frowned "I don't like it, If you're gonna tell him the truth, you might as well tell him the whole truth. you can't just tell him fragments of it. I know he's gonna hate me once you-"

"that's exactly why we can't tell him" he cut in, he was growing more frustrated by the minute and Mark could understand him despite not agreeing with him. So he stayed quiet, letting the other speak to finish before he gave his opinion.

"Knowing that I cheated on him will break him. Don't you think he'll need a friend to rely on? and if he's gonna rely on someone, it would most likely be you, don't you think?"  
He was right, Mark couldn't deny the truth in his Words. Jinyoung wasn't Close with many, the one he would turn to would most likely be him. "yeah" he agreed.

"We can't take that away from him as well. He'll need someone who could Comfort him, If you don't, who else would?"

He was right, he was so right, even if he hated to admit it. But that left them another question "but, What about us?" He hadn't meant for it to make it past his lips. He knew that he probably sounded selfish but he couldn't help but urging an answer.

Jackson didn't show him any distaste though, instead, he leaned in and a placed a chaste kiss on the Crown of his head "We'll keep our relationship a secret" he knew that he was asking for too much, but he also knew that Mark would most likely agree, which he did seconds later as he nodded his head. Jackson kissed him again, this time on the lips, a silent reassuring promise that things would be fine. "We'll tell him once things have calmed down. when the wounds aren't as fresh".

Mark nodded, he felt like a hypocrite, but he couldn't help but naively hope that they might hurt Jinyoung less this way.  
xxxxxxxxx

It was already past 6 pm when Jackson decided to make the call. By then they had gone for another round of mind-blowing sex and even had a shower together. Jackson had felt so good, so carefree being with Mark that he had almost forgotten about the fact that he had to go back to reality.

He dreaded to make the call, but he knew that he had to. he didn't feel bad about the part where he needed to break up with the younger, they should have ended their relationship a long time ago. What he dreaded was to tell the boy about the cheating. To only break things off would definitely hurt Jinyoung, but at least it could be bearable. Jinyoung had Always been the sensible type, he would definitely be sad but he would probably also see the logic behind it. But now he also had to tell him that he had gone to someone else, that he had wanted someone else.

Three signals Went through Before the familiar voice on the other side of the line uttered a "Yes?". Jackson couldn't tell on his voice whether he had been upset or not. Jinyoung had Always been a master of Pokerface and Jackson had always found it more annoying than admirable.

"Jinyoung" He said "We need to talk."  
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

They had decided to meet up at a small cafe where they often met up together to just hang out. The place held many memories for both of them and despite knowing that he shouldn't tell him in a place that was precious to both of them, he had hoped that the familiarity of the surroundings could offer Jinyoung some sort of Comfort.

When he arrived Jinyoung was already there. He sat at their usual table with a cup of something Jackson could guess would be hot chocolate. Frosty autumn days like these were times were Jinyoung always ordered hot cocoa, he said that the weather made him crave it. That trait had been one of many that Jackson had found adorable in the past, now it felt like nothing but an overused habit.

Jinyoung looked up from the cup in front of him as Jackson pulled out the chair across from him. They locked gazes and there it was, that blank stare, the pokerface, that he Always used in order to mask his true feelings. Jackson was so tired of it, he wasn't made of stone so why did he act as if he were?

"Hey" he spoke as he sat down, he didn't bother to take off his jacket. They probably wouldn't stay for very long anyway.

Jinyoung shifted in his seat as he worded a small "hey" back, It came out slightly stiff and awkward, which wasn't very unusual after their fights. While Jinyoung Always looked indifferent, his voice still managed to reveal when he felt uncomfortable or awkward. Jackson didn't blame him though, things Always felt rather strained after their fights.

"I'm sorry" Jinyoung said. No matter how awkward and strained the situation was, he had never failed to apologize, not once. and that was also one trait that Jackson had lately started to find annoying. While Jinyoung Always said sorry, Jackson never really saw much of a change, he was still kept at an arm's length. The cliff between them was obvious, Jackson wasn't sure whether the younger failed to acknowledge it or just chose to ignore it. Who's fault it was, were discussable. The only thing he was sure of was that he no longer loved the boy, not in a romantic way at least and to be fully honest, he couldn't bring himself to feel guilty about it. Their relationship had been on the verge of bursting for long, it was just a wonder that they hadn't broken it off earlier.

"Jinyoung" he started "You and I both know that a simple 'i'm sorry' isn't enough anymore"

Jinyoung looked confused as he asked "then what do you want me to say?" he asked.

"Nothing, that's just it. there is nothing you can say anymore" the Words left him in a harder tone than he had intended, but at least he had got his point across.  
Something in Jinyoung's facial expression changed, but he couldn't tell what.

"I'm not quite sure I underst-"

"We can't go on like this anymore" he cut in. Jinyoung fell silent as he waited for Jackson to continue. "It's been over for months now, we just haven't said it with Words."

The strong barrier Jinyoung had built fell to ruins as his words sank in. His entire face changed to an expression Jackson had never seen on the boy before. He had seen Jinyoung sad and he had seen him angry, this was definitely not one of them.

He looked down at his lap as he spoke "It has? funny how I didn't notice" He sounded broken. Jackson felt bad for him, he had thought that it had been clear for both of them, but apparently, he had been mistaken. "Isn't there anyway, we could try to fix this?" his voice started to waver, Jackson couldn't see his eyes but he could guess that he was pretty Close to tears. "I could try to be more open if that's what you want. I'll make sure to tell you if something's wrong. I'll be better, I'll-" His ranting was cut off as his voice broke. Jackson pitied him.

"It's not just that" Jackson didn't want to break the other even more, but he needed to tell him the truth. "I-" he had gone through the Words over and over again in his head, yet he found it hard to actually say them. his mouth felt dry and his lips refused to move.

Jinyoung had yet to look up from his lap as he said "you what?"

"It wouldn't be fair to any of us if I were to stay with you" he paused, considering his next words carefully as he didn't want to make it all even worse Than it already was. "Lately I've felt that the love isn't there anymore. From both parts and-"

"You can't do that" Jinyoung interrupted, finally lifting his head. He wasn't crying but he looked pretty damn close. "you can't talk on my behalf like that. If you don't love me anymore, then that's on you but you can't go around and decide what I feel. You have no fucking right to do that" and there, just then, a small drop of sorrow escaped the boy's waterline, tracing its path down his pale cheek.

There were no sobs, nor was there any rigid breathing. Just silent tears escaping pained Eyes. Jackson couldn't help but Think how typical Jinyoung it was, even his Crying were reserved and Jackson couldn't help but to detest it.

"Am I really that terrible to be with?" It didn't sound like a question, more likely a statement. And even though he wanted to deny it, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Cause he knew that even if he did Jinyoung wouldn't believe it that easily. Plus, it felt wrong to cheer him up only to put him down again. He still had to tell him about last night.

Jinyoung was no longer looking at him, he was staring out through the window. Outside the fallen leaves danced through the October air witch reminded him that Jinyoung had always found the autumn season beautiful. When they were still in kindergarten Jinyoung was one of those kids that collected rusty-colored leaves and gave them to the teachers as a bouquet, he never failed to look disappointed when he was told to not bring them inside.

He was pulled out of his trail of thoughts as Jinyoung once again spoke, reminding him of the current situation. "what if we start over? we could-" and there it was again the hopeful, yet useless ranting.

"It's not just that" he had to cut him off, he just couldn't sit there and let him continue, he couldn't be that cruel to him... "last night- I" he struggled to formulate his words. Even though he knew that he was about to do the right thing, he couldn't help but wonder whether the right thing would be more hurtful than keeping quiet about it. Perhaps Jinyoung would be better off not knowing? At least he would be free from brain ghosts telling him he'd been lacking compared to that someone else. Maybe he should just end it like this, by not telling him...

... No he couldn't do that to him... obviously, Jinyoung still held strong feelings for him, if telling him would help him get over him, he'd definitely do it. He drew a deep breath. "I slept with someone else last night"

Something in Jinyoungs expression changed but Jackson didn't know what. It was like something dawned on him even though it lasted for just a second. One last tear fell before the blank mask was back on again.

With rounded lips, the only sound that left him was an "oh"  
He lifted a pale hand to wipe at his wet cheeks. Eyes still shiny with tears but the younger refused to let them fall. Just like that he had decided to close down, the thing he did best and Jackson hated it.

A wave of sudden anger filled him and even though Jackson knew that he shouldn't act on it, he just couldn't stop himself "Is that all you got to say? I just told you that I cheated on you" He stared at Jinyoung and even though it was obvious that the younger struggled to not break out in tears again, he remained quiet. "See, It's like you don't even know how to feel anything, do you know how tiring that is? Fuck, this is why it's so hard to love you".

He knew he shouldn't have said it, he knew he should've just stayed quiet, If he could turn back the time, he would've done his utterly best to prevent himself from saying those horrible, cruel words, but he did not possess such a Power and he knew that there was nothing he could say to make the other Believe that he hadn't meant them. Jinyoung had Always been a strong believer of truth in hurtful Words, "one wouldn't say them to prove a point if they didn't mean them" he'd always said. Judging by the broken expression on the younger's face, Jackson knew that he had fucked up big time. He needed to hurry up and apologize.

" Shit, Jinyoung I'm so-"

"I didn't know that you felt that way" His form looked smaller than ever as he now sat sunken in his seat, the sight reminded Jackson of the Little boy he used to be. "I've always been conscious that people find me cold and unfeeling. I've never really understood why and therefore never paid much thought to it. But I didn't know you agreed with them" a humorless chuckle escaped him "I guess they were right"

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that-" Jackson tried but was quickly cut off.

"But those were your real thoughts, weren't they" It wasn't a question even though it was said as if it were. Nothing he could say now would change Jinyoung's beliefs, the damage was already done. He knew how upset the boy would become if someone even hinted that he was Cold, cause he had always failed to see where Those opinions came from, so hearing it from Jackson must have been even more hurtful. Jackson mentally cursed himself, why couldn't he just have stayed quiet.

He needed to redirect the conversation, put the focus back on the main reason to why they had this conversation to begin with. He drew a sigh "Jinyoung" he began "I don't want you to be sad or upset. You still mean very much to me, you know you do, right?" He reached across the table to grab a hold of the pale hand, resting next to the now-abandoned cup of hot chocolate. Jinyoung made no movement to reject the comforting hand so Jackson secured it gently between his own. Jinyoung's hand was Cold, as usual, it was really rare for the younger to have warm hands, even during summer.

Jinyoung didn't respond to his statement, Jackson couldn't blame him.

"I know you're hurting right now and I'm really sorry for that, If I could take your pain away, I would. I really would but I can't. I Think-" Jackson didn't know if he should say what he had on his mind, maybe it was still too early but at the same time he really thought that It would be the greatest advice he could give him. "You must get over me and I think the easiest way for that to happen is for you to love somebody else. And I know that you probably don't want to hear this right now but... no matter what, I'll still be your friend."

New tears fell from dark eyes as Jinyoung for the first time let out a shaky breath. He attempted to wipe them with his sleeve but to no avail as more tears escaped him. They sat in silence, Jackson didn't know what else he could possibly say. He thought it perhaps would be for the best to give the other space enough to register everything that had been said.

The tears didn't stop and Jackson debated with himself whether it would be okay to hug the younger or not. He didn't have to think about it for long as Jinyoung unintentionally made up the decision for him. He rose from his seat and grabbed the jacket that had hung over the backrest of the chair. Jackson stared at him dumbfounded, was he leaving? Jackson took it as a cue to follow his lead and stood up as well. By the time Jackson had pushed his chair neatly against the table, Jinyoung had already managed to put his jacket on and had already made it halfway to the exit. An odd feeling swelled in his chest, something Jackson found impossible to identify. He knew that he should've just let the other go, that he probably needed some peace and space more than ever, yet he couldn't stop his body from moving on its own. soon he had caught up to him, and reached for his wrist. Jinyoung flinched but didn't pull away. He wanted to make sure that Jinyoung would be okay.

"Take your time" he said catching Jinyoung off guard with his words "just promise me you won't close down. At least talk to mark, I'm sure he'll lend you a comforting shoulder."

Jinyoung retreated his wrist from Jackson's grip. Jackson had no expectations of how the younger would react, what he hadn't expected though, was the small smile on the obviously sad face. He was hurting, Jackson could tell, so why was he smiling?  
"I'll do my best" were the only response he got from the boy before he had turned around and walked out the door, leaving Jackson staring after him.

Later that night, Mark sat in his dorm, waiting for a call that never came. He figured Jinyoung probably needed some time for himself, to just think. With high beliefs that Jinyoung would probably talk to him in school the next day he went to bed.

Little did he know that Jinyoung wouldn't show up to school the next day or even the days after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it!  
> I hope to see you in the next chapter <3


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